Thursday, August 26, 2010

the nerve

A close friend asked for my advice the other day on how to politely decline the request to use her house to host a bridal shower. This sounds like a tough one but it actually isn’t. Once you hear more details, you too will agree that she needs to say no.

Let’s call my friend Sally.

Sally was recently married. She chose her family members as her bridesmaids. They threw her a lovely bridal shower. (Not totally relevant to this story.) One of these family members is now engaged and chose to have mostly friends for bridesmaids and did not include Sally. She was fine with this decision. Less responsibility for her, right?


The harem of bridesmaids decided that the shower should be held at a family member’s house so they asked Sally to host! Sweet Sally was put on the spot and quickly agreed. Only a few days passed when she realized that she didn’t really WANT this responsibility nor was her husband too happy with it. After all, she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid so why take this huge task on?

My advice? I told her that she needs to tell these girls that she is not able to host the shower at her house. Period. It’s not her responsibility!

The kicker is that some of these other girls have houses where they can hold the shower. Of course, there are other options like having it out somewhere if their budget allows.

The bottom line is that the bridesmaids are responsible for hosting the bridal shower (and the mothers of the bride or groom, if they so choose). That is exactly why a bride choses bridesmaids.  They are essentially friends and family chosen to host events and help the bride throughout the wedding process. 

-The perennial bridesmaid

bridal shower invitation by yours truly
note it says: Hosted by the Bridesmaids

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