I started this blog as a fun way to track wedding related activities, stories and live countdowns. Along the way I’ve accumulated DIY projects, lists of vendors and wedding faux pas. I’ve danced around the idea of what comes after the wedding…although I am no expert (or amateur for that matter). What I didn’t expect was to write about the truly un-fun.
I delayed this post for days because it fits in the un-fun category.
I had to remove a count down from the right column with just 60 days to go. One of the 2010 couples didn’t make it to the finish line. There will be no 00 days left blinking on their countdown.
Although it is sad, it is probably better than the alternative. Do I dare say the D word? If one half of the couple isn’t ready to commit that is enough reason not to go through with it. ‘Nuff said.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
the X factor
How do you go about inviting ex’s to your wedding?
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
wedding vs. marriage
It appears that some brides these days fall in love with the wedding, not the groom. Yes, it’s a big party and a blast to plan. The spotlight is on you for an average of a year during the engagement. The wedding industry is enticing and it is easy to get swept off of your feet by it. Leading up to the big day, people are constantly asking about colors, themes, dresses, food, registries, music, hair, the list goes on…but it’s only one day.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment not just that one day.
A friend of a friend of a friend (you don’t know them) recently had a lavish wedding complete with all of the bells and whistles. It was a stunning celebration. The couple was so in love...so it seemed. Just 3 months after the nuptials took place, she left him. Why? Apparently she wasn’t in love with him. Perhaps she was in love with the wedding. Maybe marriage wasn’t as enticing as the wedding. The party was over.
Once the party is over, it is on to the marriage. The planning doesn’t stop. What you’re planning just changes.
Remember when you were dating and people only asked about HIM? Now they ask, “How is the WEDDING planning going?” Don’t let the wedding take the place of your relationship.
Ask yourself. Why are you getting married?
-The perennial bridesmaid
Marriage is a lifelong commitment not just that one day.
A friend of a friend of a friend (you don’t know them) recently had a lavish wedding complete with all of the bells and whistles. It was a stunning celebration. The couple was so in love...so it seemed. Just 3 months after the nuptials took place, she left him. Why? Apparently she wasn’t in love with him. Perhaps she was in love with the wedding. Maybe marriage wasn’t as enticing as the wedding. The party was over.
Once the party is over, it is on to the marriage. The planning doesn’t stop. What you’re planning just changes.
Remember when you were dating and people only asked about HIM? Now they ask, “How is the WEDDING planning going?” Don’t let the wedding take the place of your relationship.
Ask yourself. Why are you getting married?
-The perennial bridesmaid
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