put out the fire

Today’s guest blogger is my favorite floral designer who specializes in weddings and events. She always has insight into what’s hot and what’s not in the wedding world. Take it away, Renee…


Unity Ceremonies aren't just for candles anymore!

You’ve all seen the traditional unity candle march. Moms come down the aisle, each mom lights a taper candle, then during the ceremony the bride and groom “unite” by using said taper candles to light a larger pillar candle. While this is a lovely notion, involving the moms and the “eternal flame of love”, it’s a little boring. Today’s brides are looking for the non-traditional spin on everything: “What’s everyone else doing? Now, how can I do it differently??”

As someone who speaks with brides regularly, I’ve pretty much heard it all. But every now and again I hear something new, something totally different and, I’ll admit it, I get excited all over again about this business we call weddings. Recently, one of my brides let me in on what she is doing for her unity ceremony which got me so excited, I decided to research some other alternatives in a quest to find out what else I might be missing! More on this bride and her ceremony in a minute.

First, here are some other unity ceremony ideas, sans the candle:

Rose Ceremony: There are lots of variations on this but it generally involves 2 single stem roses, each held by the bride and the groom. Then they exchange the roses and are unified! I’ve also seen the rose being exchanged between the families, which is very similar to the Sign of Peace rose exchange that is done in some church ceremonies.

Water Ceremony: The bride and groom each have a bottle of colored water. At the same time they pour their water into a larger vessel, creating a new color of water. Think back to grade school art class. Red and yellow make orange, blue and yellow make green, etc. Then this new bottle of water can be placed on the mantle to look at forever!

Sand Ceremony: This is essentially the same as the water ceremony; however, colored sand is used in place of the water. These both hearken to the fact that neither water particles, nor sand particles, can be easily separated. Leaving the bride and groom metaphorically united for all of time.

Breaking Bread Ceremony: This one involves food which is always a plus in my book. There is a small loaf of bread that acts as the unifier. The bride and groom each tear off a piece and eat it. This can also be done with the families to unify everyone.

There are some others which you can research in your spare time: Salt Ceremony, Garland/Lei Ceremony, Circling, Celtic Oathing Stone, Truce Bell or the very fun sounding Lasso Ceremony. But the one that I am so excited about, the reason I was compelled to guest blog about this all in the first place is the…

Wine Ceremony! The bride and groom both have a carafe of wine, one white and one red. They both pour the wine into a glass creating a blush wine, then take a sip! For a very small event this can be done so that each guest has a sip at the reception toast. Or that the bridal party members have a glass at the cocktail hour. I just love the idea of this; maybe it’s my love of wine, or the fact that I hate nick-knack clutter (see Sand/Water ceremony above).

Whatever unifies you, take a minute to customize it. Make it special for the bridal party and the guests. This small ceremony is a very important part of a much larger ceremony. Don’t overlook it!

mogzilla

You heard it here first. I should copyright that one.

As my brother’s wedding rapidly approaches, I have dubbed my mother a “MOGzilla”. Up until this week, she was simply the MOG but her recent behavior has escalated her to zilla status. As I threatened to blog about her if she didn’t find her Zen place, she said she’d like to do the honors as a guest blogger…

I'm Not a MOGzilla, I'm Just Misunderstood!!

Does it make me a MOGzilla because our beloved dog is having "play dates" scheduled with the couple who will be taking care of him on the wedding day just so I know he gets along with them before the big "sleepover"?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I'm worried that I won't have enough time to get my hair and make up done AND get dressed AND be at the groom's house by 12:30 in the afternoon?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I'm concerned that since I'm getting my hair and make up done at 9 am, the hair won't still be in place and the makeup won't still look fresh when the wedding actually begins at 6 pm?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I told the FOG exactly how many days before the wedding he should get his hair cut so it's at the precise length that it looks best on the wedding day? And then, admittedly, I made him go back because they didn't take enough off the top the first time?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I'm no longer happy with the dress that I spent way too much on to begin with?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I have bought at least 5 different types of undergarments to try with said dress just so I'm sure that I will be wearing the one that looks best?

Does it make me a MOGzilla because I'm beginning to feel very sentimental and just called the groom, my son, and asked him if he was free one night before the wedding to have dinner with me, just me?

No, it just makes me a MOM. A mom who can't believe my little boy, "my momma’s boy", has grown to be such a wonderful man who is about to marry and begin a new chapter of his life with his wife.

Label me if you must but this is all new territory to me as I've never married off a child before. I know this is going to be the best day in my son's life (even ahead of the Phillies winning the 2008 World Series???) so I just want everything to be perfect. Please excuse me if I have lost my Zen but come the big day when everything falls into place, I will be the one smiling the brightest, crying the most, dancing the longest and looking damn good doing it!

tasty affair

Wondering what to expect at your tasting?  Here is one couple's account from the guest blogging bride...

One of the aspects of wedding planning that excited me most about our year-and-a-half long engagement was our tasting. Most tastings I had heard about involved the bride, groom and respective parents having a meal with one or two other couples getting married at the same venue. Usually the story includes one parent complaining about something loudly. This experience sounds ok, but I think our tasting exceeded such an event. Since our wedding caterer serves multiple venues in the area, our tasting was quite epic. Basically, it was a wedding reception with no ceremony and 250+ strangers at one of the premier wedding venues in the Philadelphia area.

When we got to the venue for the tasting, there was a line out the door. We stood in the cold with other couples as everyone checked in. I immediately started stereotyping people to guess who was getting married at our venue and who was more organized than me. (Some people had their wedding binders in hand. I don't even own one thanks to my love of Google Docs) Once we made our way inside, we got nametags that indicated which venue we were hosting our wedding. This made the stereotyping even more explicit! From all my research, I have a good idea of how much these venues cost and the fancy looking couples indeed were getting married at the fancy venues. (There were a few odd exceptions that involved tattooed couples.) I smiled knowingly at couples with matching nametags to ours.

There were still parents in attendance at this type of tasting. Part of our wedding agreement included two complimentary admissions to the tasting, covering me and my fiance. Other guests had to pay a fee. The parents took their role at the tasting very seriously. They stood guard at the kitchen for the first taste of each of the passed hors d'ouevres. They strategically covered their plates with one of everything from the stations. Not being nearly as aggressive, my fiance and I tried exactly one passed hors d'ouevre (which we shared) and about three different stations' offerings. We knew we wouldn't have sushi at our wedding, so why bother waiting in line? Basically, we spent the cocktail hour having some wine and beer, checking out a binder with fabric samples for our tablecloths, and oohing and ahhing at the venue and people in general.

We then proceeded into the ballroom where we sat at a 10-top table with other couples getting married at our same venue. This was certainly the most valuable part of the event. We exchanged when we were getting married, when we got engaged, some vendor recommendations, answered each others questions and compared notes over the food. I even got everyone to write down their email addresses so I can forward them photos I've found of other weddings at our site. I'm sure if people are into it, we'll continue our dinner discussion over email.

The caterer had provided us all with a list of all the food available that evening, so we could keep track of what we were eating and make comments. The seated portion of the night involved three courses - fish, poultry and beef. Each course came with three-four different preparations of the selected meat, along with three-four different sides. (I have to be honest and say that there was a disappointing amount of carrots as sides.) It was all incredibly tasty, but overwhelming to have that much food! At least they spaced the courses out pretty well and cut the food into bite-sized portions. During the entire dinner portion, there was still an open bar too!

Then came dessert. There was a section of the ballroom near our table that had been curtained off. We deciphered that this is where the chocolate and caramel fountains would be, and sure enough, they were revealed with excitement! There was also a fresh-baked cookie station, mini milkshakes being passed around, and the cake samples. I think there were about six different cakes brought to the table in little slices. As far as the food went, the dessert was a highlight for me!

A typical question following such an extravagant event will logically be "So what did you pick for your menu?!". As comprehensive as the night was, we did not pick a single thing from the tasting to be served at our wedding. We were very attached to a specific, casual (Read: inexpensive) menu that the caterers offer, and the tasting was a chance for them to showcase their fancier items, enticing brides, grooms and well-to-do parents into selecting upgrades.

The tasting was a chance for us to be assured that our caterers handle cooking good food for large numbers of people. They proved themselves that night. Will our wedding include a sushi bar, flank steak, a signature fruit martini, or a caramel fountain? No. Will it have solid, tasty food choices made by professionals? Yes. Do I feel like I was pampered for a night? Yes! Am I excited for my wedding with corn on the cob, hamburgers and a homemade cake buffet? Even more than before!

from the mob

Today's guest blogger is a real-life mother-of-the-bride, also known as the mob. She is sharing her experience in helpfully planning her daughter's wedding.  Read on for her approach...

As many mothers of a daughter can understand, I have dreamed with my daughter about her wedding...way before she met her fiancé! So when my daughter told me I was on all the wedding committees, I was pretty excited. (Yes, there are committees! And they are organized by the strengths of the members, not by family or friend obligation.)

The engaged couple have been planning for months. The families have visited the chosen site, the couple will have their tasting in a couple of weeks, dresses have been tried on, centerpieces discussed, honeymoon plans are in the works. Close family members have submitted ideas on some details and all are listened to respectfully. However, the vision for the wedding belongs to the couple.

I think this is where things could get sticky but haven’t for us. In a clear yet kind tone, certain ideas have not fit with the vision and are taken off the table! As the Mom, I am aware my opinions and ideas are just that - mine, not the bride’s. I already had a lovely wedding. This one is for her and her future husband. It also helps that I love their ideas!

With that said, the only way I can explain what it's like helping to plan the wedding is comparing it to the largest birthday party I ever planned for her growing up. Thinking along these lines, I suggested we have a planning meeting to organize the timeline, get dates in our plan books and google calendars, and compare notes on details. It made me really happy when some of my thoughts were new to her and helpful, and when they weren’t, well, they weren’t!

As more committee meetings are held, I will listen, offer helpful advice and counsel...and lots of love and support.

And I will dance at the wedding!

less is more

…when it comes to centerpieces anyway.

I am a floral designer who is guest blogging for the perennial bridesmaid today to talk centerpieces with you. As it relates to the wedding flowers, only bouquets should play a larger role in the décor AND budget than centerpieces.

Did you know that etiquette says you should be spending the same amount on each centerpiece that you are spending per plate for your guest?

So if you are feeding each guest $125 Filet Mignon, then your pedestal centerpieces should cost you roughly $125 each! I’ve been helping brides plan their wedding flowers for almost 6 years now and trust me; almost no one follows this rule. The truth is, by the time the bride and her family have gotten to the flowers, they’ve maxed out on almost every other area and are already thinking, “I can cut back on the flowers to make up for it.” And that’s ok. There are lots of ways to do it! Let me tell you how…

One of the most popular centerpiece ideas I have been hearing about lately is the “composite” centerpiece. This is where you have several vases on each table, usually a different flower type in each vase, all in the same color scheme. While this style looks beautiful, simple and covers a lot of table space it is NOT budget friendly.

The vases that are used in these schemes are usually cylinders or cubes which are premium glassware. The flowers that are used in these vases, except for hydrangea, require a lot more stems than you would imagine to fill the opening of the vase. The labor to put them all together is multiplied by the number of vases. So if you’d like 3 vases on your table; one with white hydrangea, one with white roses and one with white orchids, you have 3 times the glassware, 3 times the flowers and 3 times the labor. And that all equals, you guessed it: expensive!!

If you’re into this look, do yourself a favor and supply the vases to your florist. Head to your local Home Goods, Tuesday Morning, your favorite second hand store, yard sales or better yet, IKEA and find yourself a collection of vases that sorta look the same. They don’t have to be exactly the same because who’s gonna notice? Plus, the different vases will add charm. This will cut back substantially on your bottom line.

Choose large headed flowers: hydrangea, alstromeria, ‘Moon Series’ carnations, gerbers, etc. to fill up the vase faster.

If you’re not totally attached to the composite idea, go ahead and embrace the less expensive “one vase” option. Lay it on a bed of moss for the organic look instead of the overdone mirror. Surround it with seashells for a beach theme. Scatter cork tops from wine bottles around it for the wine connoisseur couple.

Think outside the vase, I mean, box!

-Renee Tucci, floral designer
renee@pflorist.com

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