fab four on the farm

This past weekend was one of those weekends that leave you melancholy on Monday when the reality of adulthood sets in. I got to spend the entire weekend with 3 of my closest college friends. There was a point in our lives when we spent every day together. Every crapateria meal (that's not a typo). Every Wednesday at the dive bar drinking dollar Natural Lights (vom). And every Thursday at an apartment party. At that point it was hard to believe that in the future we’d live separate lives in different states and only see each other a few times a year.

Fast forward ten years and we were attending the first “Fab Four” wedding. Not only were we in attendance but the 3 of us were bridesmaids to our 4th. We wore black floor length gowns and carried light palette bouquets that were accented with flowers with black centers such as anemones, gerbera daisies and poppies to complement the dresses and the classic color scheme.

I am still laughing today at some of our new memories from the weekend.  We found ourselves planted on the Eastern shore of Maryland.  Although not far from the city, we were worlds away.

Back to the wedding…it was not actually on the farm.  Or near the farm.  We visited Grams and Pop’s farm after the wedding.  Luckily we arrived just after they chased the escaped pigs back into their pen so I could get this cozy shot of them.  I’m not sure this city girl would’ve been much help corralling pigs anyway.

Oh yeah. The wedding. It was on the Chesapeake Bay just before sunset. The Father of the Bride broke the ice like I’ve never seen before during a wedding ceremony. When asked “who gives this woman away” , he pulled out a receipt, actually a no return policy, and had the groom sign. He tore off the carbon copy and gave it to the groom while he held onto the original. It was comical although I'm not sure the bride agrees. 

Check out the ring bearer’s pillow that the MOB made. Isn’t it just the sweetest?

And the flower girl’s dress next to the bride’s.  There were about 100 buttons that all had to be fastened down the back of the gown but it was worth it.  She looked stunning…

And in case you were following along with the paper goods that I created for this wedding...here is the table number with the complementing, monogrammed favor box.  The box was filled with yummy chocolates which I have to admit I finished before the night was over!

So sad it's over but glad we get to do it all over again in just 10 months!  This weekend we were asked to be bridesmaids in the 2nd Fab Four wedding which is quickly approaching.  Before we know it we'll be dress shopping and jet setting all over again!

And now a word from our sponsor...Wilson.

-The perennial bridesmaid



put out the fire

Today’s guest blogger is my favorite floral designer who specializes in weddings and events. She always has insight into what’s hot and what’s not in the wedding world. Take it away, Renee…


Unity Ceremonies aren't just for candles anymore!

You’ve all seen the traditional unity candle march. Moms come down the aisle, each mom lights a taper candle, then during the ceremony the bride and groom “unite” by using said taper candles to light a larger pillar candle. While this is a lovely notion, involving the moms and the “eternal flame of love”, it’s a little boring. Today’s brides are looking for the non-traditional spin on everything: “What’s everyone else doing? Now, how can I do it differently??”

As someone who speaks with brides regularly, I’ve pretty much heard it all. But every now and again I hear something new, something totally different and, I’ll admit it, I get excited all over again about this business we call weddings. Recently, one of my brides let me in on what she is doing for her unity ceremony which got me so excited, I decided to research some other alternatives in a quest to find out what else I might be missing! More on this bride and her ceremony in a minute.

First, here are some other unity ceremony ideas, sans the candle:

Rose Ceremony: There are lots of variations on this but it generally involves 2 single stem roses, each held by the bride and the groom. Then they exchange the roses and are unified! I’ve also seen the rose being exchanged between the families, which is very similar to the Sign of Peace rose exchange that is done in some church ceremonies.

Water Ceremony: The bride and groom each have a bottle of colored water. At the same time they pour their water into a larger vessel, creating a new color of water. Think back to grade school art class. Red and yellow make orange, blue and yellow make green, etc. Then this new bottle of water can be placed on the mantle to look at forever!

Sand Ceremony: This is essentially the same as the water ceremony; however, colored sand is used in place of the water. These both hearken to the fact that neither water particles, nor sand particles, can be easily separated. Leaving the bride and groom metaphorically united for all of time.

Breaking Bread Ceremony: This one involves food which is always a plus in my book. There is a small loaf of bread that acts as the unifier. The bride and groom each tear off a piece and eat it. This can also be done with the families to unify everyone.

There are some others which you can research in your spare time: Salt Ceremony, Garland/Lei Ceremony, Circling, Celtic Oathing Stone, Truce Bell or the very fun sounding Lasso Ceremony. But the one that I am so excited about, the reason I was compelled to guest blog about this all in the first place is the…

Wine Ceremony! The bride and groom both have a carafe of wine, one white and one red. They both pour the wine into a glass creating a blush wine, then take a sip! For a very small event this can be done so that each guest has a sip at the reception toast. Or that the bridal party members have a glass at the cocktail hour. I just love the idea of this; maybe it’s my love of wine, or the fact that I hate nick-knack clutter (see Sand/Water ceremony above).

Whatever unifies you, take a minute to customize it. Make it special for the bridal party and the guests. This small ceremony is a very important part of a much larger ceremony. Don’t overlook it!

just say no

I strongly dislike hearing wedding related stories that tear friendships apart. Planning a wedding is supposed to be fun but these things happen far more often than you may think. So much so that I’ve been involved in 3 different weddings where a bridesmaid has backed out of the wedding for one reason or another. Sometimes these reasons are justified but it always leaves the bride terribly and usually unnecessarily upset. And no these are not urban legends.

I’m not getting into those backing-out-bridesmaid stories today but I will tell you another story that left a bride disappointed. Tell me, was the bride overreacting?

Here goes…the bride requested that a friend who lived out of town read at her wedding. The out of towner agreed months in advance. She had intentions of flying to the wedding and performing her duties until just 2 weeks prior to the wedding. The reader decided that it wasn’t going to be feasible for her to make it. She told the bride this and the bride was forced to find another reader.

Sounds simple enough.

Here’s the catch. The bride hasn’t spoken to this out of town friend since she called out of her reading responsibilities – nearly a year ago. Who was wrong here? You would think that the out of town reader could’ve given the bride more notice. Perhaps. But if the bride felt this friend was close enough to have her read at her wedding, you would think the friendship was worth keeping. Apparently not.

Emotions seem to get elevated when planning weddings. Remember to keep things in perspective. Your wedding is the most important day to you but unfortunately not everyone reacts the same way. If it is worth retaining the friendship, you two will work it out. If not, then it was never meant to be and she did you a favor by dropping out of your bridal party or not flying in to read at your wedding. Ask dependable people to be a part of your special day.

And on the other hand, if you are asked to take on a responsibility at a friend’s wedding that you don’t think you can handle, just say no! Easier said than done, sure. But you will most likely keep the friendship if you are honest upfront.

Sorry for a somber post today but I have just been hearing so many dramatic stories like this lately and they suck!

-The perennial bridesmaid

to program or not to program?

Ceremony programs. Are they really necessary? 

In my purse is a beautiful, ornate program from a wedding I attended last month. Why? Because I haven’t had the heart to toss it knowing how much work someone put into it. I am probably the rarity though. Every time I leave a ceremony with programs, I see the bulk of them strewn amongst the chairs & pews or worse, trampled on the floor! On occasion they get a brief second life as a fan or a megaphone.

Let’s talk about the content of the wedding ceremony program versus the necessity. They typically list the bride and groom. I hope by the time you’ve made it to the ceremony, you know who is getting married. The date and time. Who cares. You made it, right? No need to review the details of the invitation at this point. The bridal party and parents. Isn’t this why the DJ or MC typically introduces these people into the reception by name and title? The officiate. They typically introduce themselves anyway.  The thank you statement. From time to time, the program lists some mushy thank you to all of the guests. It’s nice; it is but is it really necessary? Save that for your thank you cards. The bulk of the content in these programs tends to be the order of the ceremony. When the ceremony is simply a traditional exchange of vows, there obviously isn’t much to list in a program.

On the other hand, if you are having a long church ceremony or untraditional nuptials, there tends to be multiple parts and you may want to inform your guests. The program is helpful for those who are not familiar with what happens next in your church’s service. How long can I expect this to be and when can I expect the actual exchange of vows? (Read: when is it time to pay attention?)  You may also find it important to reference the readings and such. If all of this is the case, then rock out with your programs.

If you don’t want to make programs but some of the ceremony content is important for you to tell your guests then I suggest finding a simpler alternative to incorporate it into your event. You will save hours of printing, folding, punching, stamping & ribbon tying and not to mention some of that oh-so coveted wedding budget. For example, if you really want that heartfelt thank you to everyone in your lives for sharing in on your special day blah blah blah, why not print it out just once and frame it?  Leave it on the gift table so as everyone drops off their card, they can read your gratitude. If listing your readings is important, maybe you can quote the ol’ “Love is Patient, Love is Kind” scripture verse as part of the décor of your seating card table. Again, you only have to print it once. Save yourselves the hours of labor that go underappreciated!

In summary, I have never heard anyone say, “That was a beautiful ceremony. I had a great time But, man, there were no programs. I wasn’t sure who was who or what happened next.”

-The perennial bridesmaid