Why is it that I rarely have a problem coming up with strong words to write here but when it comes time to write something meaningful, I’m stumped?
Where am I going with this?
I have the honor of giving a speech at my friend’s wedding in a few weeks. There are so many things I could say. So many directions I could take it. The hard part is articulating it into a speech (and not one of my crazy blog posts) that makes sense to a broad audience of friends and family.
Funny because I actually thought the hard part would be delivering it but I seem to be less worried about that aspect. I suppose all of the past wedding reading experiences have prepared me for this opportunity. Wedding reading should be a pre-requisite to toast giving. Just a thought…
I already had an idea of how to open the speech and close it thanks to the public speaking class that was required in college. They did promise me that I would need those skills in my adult life. So in case you’re wondering, the standard structure in this case is to open with a shout out to everyone who made this possible and close with a toast to the couple. What’s in between is usually heartfelt and hopefully comical as well.
As I tried to organize my thoughts, I googled wedding speeches. There are actually sites dedicated to free wedding toasts. I recommend you do this for fun some time. I don’t recommend using the free speeches though. The sappy poems and metaphors are kind of funny but not what I had in mind.
May your winters be full of twinkling white lights,
may your springs be full of freshly picked flowers,
may your summers be full of bright blue oceans and
may your autumns be full of warm cups of tea.
Ha. Really!?
Stay tuned for the results!
-The perennial bridesmaid
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
shameless plug
The title says it all.
If you didn't already get the idea, I like to make things. Wedding DIY projects usually entail invitations, thank yous, announcements, etc. I've talked about a few projects here and there are others that I will post one of these days. In the meantime, I have a new, ahem product line, if you will. Call them bridesmaid cards or whatever you'd like.
Newly engaged ladies are always so excited about asking their friends and family to be their bridesmaids. Many times they send a card stating the obvious question. Customizable bridesmaid cards are available on my etsy shop.
-The perennial bridesmaid
If you didn't already get the idea, I like to make things. Wedding DIY projects usually entail invitations, thank yous, announcements, etc. I've talked about a few projects here and there are others that I will post one of these days. In the meantime, I have a new, ahem product line, if you will. Call them bridesmaid cards or whatever you'd like.
Newly engaged ladies are always so excited about asking their friends and family to be their bridesmaids. Many times they send a card stating the obvious question. Customizable bridesmaid cards are available on my etsy shop.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
the X factor
How do you go about inviting ex’s to your wedding?
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
absolutely
And just when I thought things quieted down on the bridesmaid front…another opportunity rounded the corner. Here’s how I became a bridesmaid for the 9th time...
In college, the four of us were inseparable never to miss 5 o’clock dinner at the crapateria. Times have changed and we now only get together a few times a year. The food is fortunately better since we’re no longer on a college meal plan and the times together are certainly as good as they were 10 years ago. God, 10 years ago?
This past weekend was one of those times. We were celebrating that the first of the fab four is getting married next year (and has the cliché wedding binder to prove it!). The other 3 of us will be bridesmaids.
How did she ask?
How else but with a sweet bottle of wine for each of use donned with a tag that read “Will you be my bridesmaid?” Of course we said yes and the bride was so thrilled that she fell out of her chair…come to think of it that might have been the wine’s doing and not the thrill of having us all as her bridesmaids.
Naturally, we all shrieked “Absolutely!” just as she did when asked to marry her fiance.
-The perennial bridesmaid
In college, the four of us were inseparable never to miss 5 o’clock dinner at the crapateria. Times have changed and we now only get together a few times a year. The food is fortunately better since we’re no longer on a college meal plan and the times together are certainly as good as they were 10 years ago. God, 10 years ago?
This past weekend was one of those times. We were celebrating that the first of the fab four is getting married next year (and has the cliché wedding binder to prove it!). The other 3 of us will be bridesmaids.
How did she ask?
How else but with a sweet bottle of wine for each of use donned with a tag that read “Will you be my bridesmaid?” Of course we said yes and the bride was so thrilled that she fell out of her chair…come to think of it that might have been the wine’s doing and not the thrill of having us all as her bridesmaids.
Naturally, we all shrieked “Absolutely!” just as she did when asked to marry her fiance.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
just say no
I strongly dislike hearing wedding related stories that tear friendships apart. Planning a wedding is supposed to be fun but these things happen far more often than you may think. So much so that I’ve been involved in 3 different weddings where a bridesmaid has backed out of the wedding for one reason or another. Sometimes these reasons are justified but it always leaves the bride terribly and usually unnecessarily upset. And no these are not urban legends.
I’m not getting into those backing-out-bridesmaid stories today but I will tell you another story that left a bride disappointed. Tell me, was the bride overreacting?
Here goes…the bride requested that a friend who lived out of town read at her wedding. The out of towner agreed months in advance. She had intentions of flying to the wedding and performing her duties until just 2 weeks prior to the wedding. The reader decided that it wasn’t going to be feasible for her to make it. She told the bride this and the bride was forced to find another reader.
Sounds simple enough.
Here’s the catch. The bride hasn’t spoken to this out of town friend since she called out of her reading responsibilities – nearly a year ago. Who was wrong here? You would think that the out of town reader could’ve given the bride more notice. Perhaps. But if the bride felt this friend was close enough to have her read at her wedding, you would think the friendship was worth keeping. Apparently not.
Emotions seem to get elevated when planning weddings. Remember to keep things in perspective. Your wedding is the most important day to you but unfortunately not everyone reacts the same way. If it is worth retaining the friendship, you two will work it out. If not, then it was never meant to be and she did you a favor by dropping out of your bridal party or not flying in to read at your wedding. Ask dependable people to be a part of your special day.
And on the other hand, if you are asked to take on a responsibility at a friend’s wedding that you don’t think you can handle, just say no! Easier said than done, sure. But you will most likely keep the friendship if you are honest upfront.
Sorry for a somber post today but I have just been hearing so many dramatic stories like this lately and they suck!
-The perennial bridesmaid
I’m not getting into those backing-out-bridesmaid stories today but I will tell you another story that left a bride disappointed. Tell me, was the bride overreacting?
Here goes…the bride requested that a friend who lived out of town read at her wedding. The out of towner agreed months in advance. She had intentions of flying to the wedding and performing her duties until just 2 weeks prior to the wedding. The reader decided that it wasn’t going to be feasible for her to make it. She told the bride this and the bride was forced to find another reader.
Sounds simple enough.
Here’s the catch. The bride hasn’t spoken to this out of town friend since she called out of her reading responsibilities – nearly a year ago. Who was wrong here? You would think that the out of town reader could’ve given the bride more notice. Perhaps. But if the bride felt this friend was close enough to have her read at her wedding, you would think the friendship was worth keeping. Apparently not.
Emotions seem to get elevated when planning weddings. Remember to keep things in perspective. Your wedding is the most important day to you but unfortunately not everyone reacts the same way. If it is worth retaining the friendship, you two will work it out. If not, then it was never meant to be and she did you a favor by dropping out of your bridal party or not flying in to read at your wedding. Ask dependable people to be a part of your special day.
And on the other hand, if you are asked to take on a responsibility at a friend’s wedding that you don’t think you can handle, just say no! Easier said than done, sure. But you will most likely keep the friendship if you are honest upfront.
Sorry for a somber post today but I have just been hearing so many dramatic stories like this lately and they suck!
-The perennial bridesmaid
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
