My friend’s wedding invitations just dropped this week. There have already been several odd responses…
First, her groom received a call with someone requesting to bring their baby to the ‘adult only reception’. When her fiancé tried to talk his relative down gently from bringing the baby, the relative responded, “oh but she’s been to a loud wing eating contest. She’ll be fine!”
Looks like the baby won with the couple feeling slightly offended by the comparison of their formal wedding to a wing eating contest.
You should always assume a wedding reception is for adults only UNLESS the invitation envelope specifically lists the child’s name OR the invitation states that ‘children are welcome’ (OR your child is part of the bridal party, of course).
The following day she receives another call from an invitee noting that her invitation is addressed to her ‘and guest’. My friend replies, “That’s correct” and the woman goes on to say that there is only one response card with the invitation. “Where will I put my guest’s entrée choice?”
Seriously people? Get a clue! Fill in your name & your guest’s name in the blank space. Then select 2 entrees. Geez. It’s pretty simple.
That’s still not as funny as when I heard someone crossed out the typed M (meant to indicate Mr., Miss or Ms. on the response card line and started with their first name. M__________________
-The perennial bridesmaid (off to a rehearsal!)
Showing posts with label guest list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest list. Show all posts
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
the X factor
How do you go about inviting ex’s to your wedding?
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
No! No! Not YOUR ex. That is another blog for another day.
Say there are 2 of your good friends on the guest list who started out as one couple when you made the list (and sent save-the-dates) nearly a year ago. Since then things have changed and they have split or are in the process of splitting. Who do you invite and how do you handle it tactfully?
Here is the advice that I recently gave to a friend in this situation:
Send them separate invitations without any plus ones. Let’s not make the scenario tenser by encouraging them to bring dates.
Typically when people split up, they split up their friends too. It’s not necessarily written in the divorce settlement. It goes unsaid. But it doesn’t mean they leave the relationship with the friends they brought into the relationship. Maybe “who keeps which friends” hasn’t quite been defined yet in your friends' break up.
The separated parties will most likely make the decision individually on whether or not to attend depending on the status of your friendship as it relates to the break up as well as where they are in the break up cycle. Don’t take it personal. (Unless you had a hand in the actual break up. Which is also another topic entirely.)
But before sending an invitation to both parties, ask yourself a few questions.
Am I actually still FRIENDS with both of them?
Do I even have both of their addresses (since they may have moved) or can I easily obtain this?
Have I already been faded out as a friend since said break up?
Maybe they’ve already decided for you on whether you should invite both…
This is definitely a gray area that can change from week to week based on where they are in their split. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved. Just invite each of them separately and pray for a decline from one of them! IF they both come, don’t seat them near each other. Obviously.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Monday, January 25, 2010
you know who you are
Someone close to me just started planning her daughter’s wedding and she asked, “What is a save the date?”. You can call me mean. I suppose I am because I literally laughed out loud at the question. Of all the silly wedding terminologies and acronyms, I think “save the date” is the most explicitly defined. That’s just me.
But for those of you that don’t know, this post is for you…
A save the date is a postcard, magnet or card that is mailed out to your guest list well in advance of your wedding; typically 6 to 18 months prior to mailing out the actual invitations. I specifically did not refer to the save the date as an invitation because the recipient does not need to RSVP. It is more like marketing collateral that lets your guests know the date of the event so they will, ahem, save it. It always includes the bride & groom’s names or recognizable photos. If there is a wedding website with additional info for the couple, this can be on there too. Often the term “Formal Invitation to Follow” is included but that can be implied if the term “Save the Date” is mentioned. Overall, minimal information other than the date to save is required.
They can be as informal and fun as you want. I’ve received lots of monograms, logos & caricatures of couples. If you have engagement photos taken, it is popular to incorporate a good shot into your save the date cards as well. Magnets are a great option because they end up on your guests’ fridge so your wedding date becomes ingrained in their brain.
Save the dates (also known as STDs – yes really!) are optional. They are practical if your guest list includes many out of towners who may need to book airfare in advance. One piece of etiquette to mention is that once you send out a save the date to someone, you can not by any means cut them from your guest list. They must receive an invitation. So if your guest list is a work in progress, STDs may not be for you.
Save the dates were not around when my parents or their parents got married. It seems to be a newer tradition that’s here to stay. Might as well embrace it and draw up a silly cartoon of you & your fiancé to send to 200 of your closest friends and family.
-The perennial bridesmaid
But for those of you that don’t know, this post is for you…
A save the date is a postcard, magnet or card that is mailed out to your guest list well in advance of your wedding; typically 6 to 18 months prior to mailing out the actual invitations. I specifically did not refer to the save the date as an invitation because the recipient does not need to RSVP. It is more like marketing collateral that lets your guests know the date of the event so they will, ahem, save it. It always includes the bride & groom’s names or recognizable photos. If there is a wedding website with additional info for the couple, this can be on there too. Often the term “Formal Invitation to Follow” is included but that can be implied if the term “Save the Date” is mentioned. Overall, minimal information other than the date to save is required.
They can be as informal and fun as you want. I’ve received lots of monograms, logos & caricatures of couples. If you have engagement photos taken, it is popular to incorporate a good shot into your save the date cards as well. Magnets are a great option because they end up on your guests’ fridge so your wedding date becomes ingrained in their brain.
Save the dates (also known as STDs – yes really!) are optional. They are practical if your guest list includes many out of towners who may need to book airfare in advance. One piece of etiquette to mention is that once you send out a save the date to someone, you can not by any means cut them from your guest list. They must receive an invitation. So if your guest list is a work in progress, STDs may not be for you.
Save the dates were not around when my parents or their parents got married. It seems to be a newer tradition that’s here to stay. Might as well embrace it and draw up a silly cartoon of you & your fiancé to send to 200 of your closest friends and family.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Thursday, January 21, 2010
guest who
It’s official. I’ve got the first 2011 wedding on the books for March 12. OMG. Let the planning begin!
Which reminds me…planning. Whenever one of my friends gets engaged she is obviously ecstatic. Sparkling, if you will. Then that sparkle fades to an overwhelming state of panic…or is it fear? Her eyes say it all! She suddenly blurts out, “I don’t even know where to begin!”
Ladies, you’ve got to make your guest list first and foremost! Consider it step one in wedding planning. I’m always surprised by how many girls don’t know this. Don’t start picking colors, venues, flowers or hair before you know who is invited to this event. Don’t forget to sit down with both sets of parents and get their input as well. Once you determine who is invited and how many guests you anticipate coming then it is on to venue shopping. The first question the sales consultant is going to ask you is how many guests you expect to have. Hands down, first question. Unless you actually write out a list you won’t know a specific number. Don’t make it a guessing game!
Planning recap: step 1 - guest list.
Venue.
Everything else.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Which reminds me…planning. Whenever one of my friends gets engaged she is obviously ecstatic. Sparkling, if you will. Then that sparkle fades to an overwhelming state of panic…or is it fear? Her eyes say it all! She suddenly blurts out, “I don’t even know where to begin!”
Ladies, you’ve got to make your guest list first and foremost! Consider it step one in wedding planning. I’m always surprised by how many girls don’t know this. Don’t start picking colors, venues, flowers or hair before you know who is invited to this event. Don’t forget to sit down with both sets of parents and get their input as well. Once you determine who is invited and how many guests you anticipate coming then it is on to venue shopping. The first question the sales consultant is going to ask you is how many guests you expect to have. Hands down, first question. Unless you actually write out a list you won’t know a specific number. Don’t make it a guessing game!
Planning recap: step 1 - guest list.
Venue.
Everything else.
-The perennial bridesmaid
Friday, January 15, 2010
if you don't know me by now...
…you’ll never never never know me.
One of my friends is getting married this summer (actually several are). The bride comes from a very large family that is close with one another. I’m talking Sunday dinner with the extended fam close. Her fiancée has a bit of the opposite family. His parents split when he was young and both remarried as so many do. He doesn’t see his mother on a weekly basis and he’s not very close with her husband. It is no surprise that he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his stepfather’s mother or her siblings. He has actually never met these step-great-aunts or not-so-great step-aunts, if you will. It came as a shocker when the mother of the groom insisted that these distant relatives be invited to the wedding.
The couple sent out save the dates to their guest list a few weeks ago for their summer wedding. They featured their full names, wedding date and photos of the couple. Anyone who received these would obviously recognize the couple and happily slap the magnet on their fridge wait for the “formal invitation to follow”. Not the case with 82 year old step-great-aunt Hilda. She took one look at the photo magnet and sent it back! Yes, returned to sender with a note stating, “I think you sent this to the wrong people.” Awkward!
The groom’s mother requested that the couple resend the save the date with a note detailing who they were! I suppose now is a good time to update the family tree. Hilda hasn’t sent it back again...yet.
Where do you draw the line with your guest list? Are you expected to invite your mother’s husband’s mother’s sister even if you’ve NEVER met and she doesn’t even know your name?
-The perennial bridesmaid
One of my friends is getting married this summer (actually several are). The bride comes from a very large family that is close with one another. I’m talking Sunday dinner with the extended fam close. Her fiancée has a bit of the opposite family. His parents split when he was young and both remarried as so many do. He doesn’t see his mother on a weekly basis and he’s not very close with her husband. It is no surprise that he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his stepfather’s mother or her siblings. He has actually never met these step-great-aunts or not-so-great step-aunts, if you will. It came as a shocker when the mother of the groom insisted that these distant relatives be invited to the wedding.
The couple sent out save the dates to their guest list a few weeks ago for their summer wedding. They featured their full names, wedding date and photos of the couple. Anyone who received these would obviously recognize the couple and happily slap the magnet on their fridge wait for the “formal invitation to follow”. Not the case with 82 year old step-great-aunt Hilda. She took one look at the photo magnet and sent it back! Yes, returned to sender with a note stating, “I think you sent this to the wrong people.” Awkward!
The groom’s mother requested that the couple resend the save the date with a note detailing who they were! I suppose now is a good time to update the family tree. Hilda hasn’t sent it back again...yet.
Where do you draw the line with your guest list? Are you expected to invite your mother’s husband’s mother’s sister even if you’ve NEVER met and she doesn’t even know your name?
-The perennial bridesmaid
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