one hot disaster

Seriously. There is never a dull moment in this thing I call bridesmaiding. But you already knew that. Hence the need for a blog to hash out all of the details. But this newest catastrophe is just that. A catastrophe of Mother Nature size.

I know I go on and on about the need for planning and being organized and doing things in a timely manner. Blah. Blah. Blah. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how organized you are or how far in advance you plan because Mother Nature and her natural disasters won’t consult your plans before wrecking havoc on them.

Months ago we booked a cabin in the foothills of the Rockies for a Boulder, CO wedding that I am in next month. The contract was long ago signed, sealed and delivered. Now all I had to do was think about the views I would enjoy and the trails I might be able to explore on the property while on wedding downtime. (And hem my dress.)

Wrong.

We won’t be enjoying the views or the trails. The vacation house was destroyed in the 4 mile canyon wildfires that swept through the area last week. Of course, it is a major loss and shame for the owners of the home who were so friendly and great to work with. I feel terrible for them. I’m sure we’ll find other accommodations but these kind people lost their house. What a tragedy.

The show will go on and the local disaster will not hold a candle to the wedding that will take place. What? Too soon?

-The perennial bridesmaid

logo of love

I hope you already read yesterday’s post about the cool wedding I went to this weekend. The details were not missed. But it all began with a wedding logo.

Way back in 2009, the bride and groom commissioned a graphic artist to create this logo. It was meant to include the wedding theme colors: purple & blue and wheat or kraft. And of course it was outlined in polka dots, the primary or initial theme of the wedding. (I later learned that the tandem bike was the “secondary surprise theme”!) Also, note the 2 fonts introduced on this logo. I don't know their names but these 2 fonts were carried out on all wedding print collateral.

There you have it. The birth of a brand. Known as Leigh & Aaron 9.5.10.

Everything was branded. Well, not everything. It was done tastefully. The logo was on the invitation and all colors and polka dots were included. You may recall reviewing the invitation, if not catch up!

The logo image with omitted text was used for the table numbers as pictured yesterday. It was also used to indicate the cake flavors. Oh and also for the ‘just married’ flag. All pictured in yesterday’s post. Go see how many logos you can find...

The photobooth printed out guests’ images in real time with the logo on it! I thought this was really unique. Probably because I’m technically impaired and have no idea how they DIY’d this. It’s the little things that impress guests so think outside of the box.

Other printed materials were not branded with the logo but more so with the chosen colors and fonts. Check out a page of the program.

And the place cards that I referenced yesterday. Even if you’re not going the extra mile and branding your wedding, you can still do something informal like this for the escort cards in your own color scheme. Just hang them up on a clothesline. So simple but refreshingly different.

If you are overwhelmed by this level of wedding marketing, have no fear. You don’t have to brand everything! Perhaps you can come up with a monogram that you like. Just remember to be consistent and use it on several elements of your wedding.

Happy marketing!

-The perennial bridesmaid

in tandem

In order to recap last weekend’s wedding, I feel that I really need to summarize the bride and groom. Here are a few adjectives that describe who they are: Marketer. Hombrewer. Jewish. Natural. Crafty. Ohioan. Theatrical. Bicycler. Laid back. Original.

Keep those in mind.

Ok, now onto the wedding.

Sunday was one of those perfect September days that make you thrilled for fall but also nostalgic for summer.  Not a cloud or hint of humidity in the sky. The grounds of the John J. Audubon Center  made for an excellent natural setting. The couple crafted an original ceremony from beginning to end. It included Jewish traditions such as the huppah and the breaking of the glass as a shout out to the bride’s background. They wrote their own vows and friends read select text from the couples’ favorite poems & books. They had a custom made Ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract shown below, which mimicked a bicycle. The laid back ceremony was accented by a circle of guests seated in chairs and coordinating blankets to observe.

After the breaking of the glass by the groom, guests made their way to the unique barn for cocktail hour. We enjoyed homebrewed beer that was made with love by the groom. The place cards were hand crafted name cards that were pinned to a clothesline complete with photos of the couple on another clothesline above.

And I almost forgot the West Philly Orchestra that played throughout the ceremony, cocktail hour and part of the reception including the horah, another Jewish tradition. The sound of horns brought a little bit of soul, a little bit of funk and a lot of original entertainment to the wedding.

The reception was held in a pavilion just up a trail from the barn and adjacent to the ceremony site. It was donned in purple and wheat accents as that was the color scheme of the event.

The newlyweds made a theatrical entrance on their own tandem bike complete with a ‘just married’ flag! What a fun surprise.

The crafty details that went into this entire wedding were more than I’ve ever seen before. DIY at it’s finest! Let’s see… I mentioned the homebrew beer that was drank well into the night. Each beer had a clever name and description.  they were named for the bride and groom's families.  Even the toast was with a craft champagne beer by the brewmaster groom.

Then there was the cake display. It was actually a cake buffet of about a dozen types all made by friends. Each cake donned a little flag that stated the flavor and baker. The center cake was topped with a tandem bike which was cut by the bride and groom. I'm sorry to say that I didn't sample ANY of these because I was having too much fun on the dance floor.  How did I do this to myself again?

Then there was the homemade favors…they were a little bit of heaven in the form of chocolate and peanut butter called “buckeyes”, a shout out to the groom’s Ohioan roots. They were packaged complete with a poem by the bride about the buckeye and how it relates to the couple.

A DJ took over after a gourmet barbecue dinner and dancing ensued. For those interested in other forms of entertainment, there was a photobooth to cheese it up in, games of cornhole to play and trails of the Audubon to explore.
All and all, it was a laid back yet detail oriented event that truly captured both the bride AND groom’s personalities. These people seriously know how to throw a party!  Thank goodness I am friends with them.

Stay tuned for the next post related to the marketing that surrounded this wedding. What do I mean by that? You will see! Here’s a hint…branding.

-The perennial bridesmaid

going global

Man, I love weddings but they are seriously popping up left and right. In the last 2 weeks, 2 great friends got engaged! Yay!

The first proposal was on the back of a boat at sunset. How romantic! Having known both the guy and girl separately for years and now watching them unite forever is truly awesome!

The second proposal occurred 2 nights ago. He popped the question at the exact location of where they first met. All of their friends were in on the surprise so they were there to take pictures. Mexico 2011 here we come!

Love is in the air this weekend. On the same day, in 2 different time zones I have a couples shower and a wedding. Obviously, I can’t be in 2 places so I am attending the wedding and, yes, giving a speech! Although, I am a bridesmaid in the wedding that the shower is being held for, I will just have to be there in spirit. Bummer.

Finally, dresses. I need to pick up a bridesmaid dress this afternoon and place an order for another one for a March wedding. The collection is growing. So far, I haven’t worn the same color twice in a wedding!

Looks like I am facing 2011 head on! It is shaping up to be the biggest wedding year yet with 7-8 on the horizon so far. I'm updating the countdowns on the right as quickly as possible! There seem to be more destinations playing into these wedding themes too. That should make for some interesting posts.

Stay tuned.

-The perennial bridesmaid

the nerve

A close friend asked for my advice the other day on how to politely decline the request to use her house to host a bridal shower. This sounds like a tough one but it actually isn’t. Once you hear more details, you too will agree that she needs to say no.

Let’s call my friend Sally.

Sally was recently married. She chose her family members as her bridesmaids. They threw her a lovely bridal shower. (Not totally relevant to this story.) One of these family members is now engaged and chose to have mostly friends for bridesmaids and did not include Sally. She was fine with this decision. Less responsibility for her, right?

Wrong.

The harem of bridesmaids decided that the shower should be held at a family member’s house so they asked Sally to host! Sweet Sally was put on the spot and quickly agreed. Only a few days passed when she realized that she didn’t really WANT this responsibility nor was her husband too happy with it. After all, she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid so why take this huge task on?

My advice? I told her that she needs to tell these girls that she is not able to host the shower at her house. Period. It’s not her responsibility!

The kicker is that some of these other girls have houses where they can hold the shower. Of course, there are other options like having it out somewhere if their budget allows.

The bottom line is that the bridesmaids are responsible for hosting the bridal shower (and the mothers of the bride or groom, if they so choose). That is exactly why a bride choses bridesmaids.  They are essentially friends and family chosen to host events and help the bride throughout the wedding process. 

-The perennial bridesmaid

bridal shower invitation by yours truly
note it says: Hosted by the Bridesmaids

yum

I went to a tasty wedding this weekend. It was at Rivercrest Golf Club in Phoenixville, PA. I had heard a ton of mixed reviews about the food at this place so I was anxious to experience it. Let me tell you, all the food was phenomenal. Turns out they got a new chef and he did them good!

Boy, was I full when I left there.

It started out with the cocktail hour. Well it actually started with the nuptials poolside which was really very lovely.  The bride looked beautiful with her birdcage veil and Maggie Sottero dress. Now onto food... Cocktail hour had the norm ample cheese table. Beyond that there were enough stations to make a meal out of. There was the oh-so-trendy mashed potato bar. Have you seen this yet? They served 3 kinds of mashed into a martini glass. Your choice. Then you go to town with toppings. I’m not sure who started this trend. It is popping up at many cocktail hours. It’s cool but heavy for so early in the evening. I totally filled up on it anyway.

Moving over to the scallop station, yes scallops & shrimp! They were being cooked right in front of us. If given the choice when planning a wedding between scallop station & mashed potato bar, I would go scallops all the way. But that’s just me!

What else? 2 bars at either end. A string quartet. More hot food stations with the old standards like m favorite pigs in a blanket. A Chinese food station with wontons, dumplings, egg rolls. Mmm. Needless to say, I tried it all! By the time we sat down for dinner, I could barely eat the filet and crab cakes that were cooked to perfection.

Enough about the food, the wedding itself was a classic affair. The color scheme was black and white with hints of damask patterns and hot pink. Even the cake had a damask pattern iced on it. The cake was great and made onsite. Oops, I brought it back to food!

-The perennial bridesmaid/ foodie

what's in your pocket

Everybody wants a pocket on their wedding invitation these days.  It's currently all the rage.  The pocket stores the response card & envelope, hotel info, directions and whatever other info accompanies the actual invite portion of the invitation.

What did we do before the evolution of the pocket?

Anyway, here's an example of a pocketfold invitation that we put together earlier this year.  It is a 5x7 horizontal layout with the pocket on the bottom.  We went with a modern template.  The script is right aligned and the complementary scroll image is on the left which we hand stamped.  The color scheme matches the colors of the wedding - navy, yellow & ivory.

-The perennial bridesmaid

only in philly

My friend recently started documenting occurrences that seem to be normal “only in Philly” but wouldn’t be acceptable outside of our domain. Typically these are brief statements that relate to our local culture – Phillies, SEPTA, TastyKakes, weathermen, mascots, you get the idea.

Why am I telling you this? Because “only in Philly” and “10,000 weddings” have collided. A direct effect of a dozen donuts. And truly unbelievable. This is no urban myth…

Last weekend’s wedding festivities started out as so many do.
Rehearsal.
Church.
Direction-giving Reverend.
The bride and groom walked into the church with smiles from ear to ear and their parents and bridal party in tow. Almost immediately, the middle aged man asked for the marriage license so that the nuptials, that would take place in 24 hours, would be legal. He stated that he could not perform the ceremony without a license to marry. It was at this point that their smiles turned to frowns and fear set in.

The couple didn’t have a license. They hadn’t applied for one yet.

Sure, this isn’t a glamorous part of the wedding planning process. No one says, “What does your marriage license look like!?” or “Have you decided what color marriage license you’re going with?” There are no frills but this is possibly one of the most crucial parts of your wedding planning if you want it all to actually be legal.

Each state, and some counties, have their own set of rules on when to apply for the license, what forms of identification are needed, what tests may need to be taken, when the license becomes valid and for how long. Some states even have a waiting period before the license is valid.

PA has a 3 day waiting period. This bit of information seemed detrimental to the wedding that was scheduled to happen in just 24 hours. What were the bride and groom to do?

This is where “only in Philly” comes in.

The couple marched down to city hall at 8 am on their wedding day. Chipper, bright eyed and with a box of fresh donuts in hand. Any other city’s workers might have laughed at the bride’s bribe but not here. The employees were thrilled by the kind doughy gesture. So thrilled that they dropped everything to process the application and even got a judge to agree to waive the 3 day waiting period. All in less than one hour.

Only in Philly can a dozen donuts get you an instant marriage license less 12 hours before your wedding!

-The perennial bridesmaid


P.S. I don’t recommend trying that one. Look up your state’s requirements regarding the marriage license application process!

just say no

I strongly dislike hearing wedding related stories that tear friendships apart. Planning a wedding is supposed to be fun but these things happen far more often than you may think. So much so that I’ve been involved in 3 different weddings where a bridesmaid has backed out of the wedding for one reason or another. Sometimes these reasons are justified but it always leaves the bride terribly and usually unnecessarily upset. And no these are not urban legends.

I’m not getting into those backing-out-bridesmaid stories today but I will tell you another story that left a bride disappointed. Tell me, was the bride overreacting?

Here goes…the bride requested that a friend who lived out of town read at her wedding. The out of towner agreed months in advance. She had intentions of flying to the wedding and performing her duties until just 2 weeks prior to the wedding. The reader decided that it wasn’t going to be feasible for her to make it. She told the bride this and the bride was forced to find another reader.

Sounds simple enough.

Here’s the catch. The bride hasn’t spoken to this out of town friend since she called out of her reading responsibilities – nearly a year ago. Who was wrong here? You would think that the out of town reader could’ve given the bride more notice. Perhaps. But if the bride felt this friend was close enough to have her read at her wedding, you would think the friendship was worth keeping. Apparently not.

Emotions seem to get elevated when planning weddings. Remember to keep things in perspective. Your wedding is the most important day to you but unfortunately not everyone reacts the same way. If it is worth retaining the friendship, you two will work it out. If not, then it was never meant to be and she did you a favor by dropping out of your bridal party or not flying in to read at your wedding. Ask dependable people to be a part of your special day.

And on the other hand, if you are asked to take on a responsibility at a friend’s wedding that you don’t think you can handle, just say no! Easier said than done, sure. But you will most likely keep the friendship if you are honest upfront.

Sorry for a somber post today but I have just been hearing so many dramatic stories like this lately and they suck!

-The perennial bridesmaid

say cheese

Last weekend alone, 3 couples I know got their engagement photos taken. Do you really need these pictures taken?

YES!

Think of it as a dry run for your wedding day. Of course you won’t be wearing the big white dress for engagement photos but it will give you the opportunity to get to know your photographer. More importantly, it will give you the opportunity to get to know your photographer’s order giving abilities. After all, he or she will be directing you to smile. Don’t smile. Look this way. Head up. Look down. Kiss. Don’t kiss. Look at each other. Smile. Now don’t smile. Hand over here. Look away. Kiss…you get the idea!

Most photographers offer engagement photos as part of their wedding package. Even if you don’t plan to order these pics, do it for the dry run aspect.

Other reasons to go for the engagement photos…

• You’re getting a make-up trial done, aren’t you? Why let that pretty done up face go to waste? Consider scheduling your professional make-up trial and your engagement photo shoot on the same day.
• Save-the-dates – if you decided yes on sending these out you can use your professional engagement photos for the magnet or whatever it is you’re sending to your guests to the save the coveted date.
• Are you having a destination wedding? Or simply a wedding that is not in your own neighborhood. Engagement photo shoots broaden the scenery more than your wedding venue may allow. For example, if you live in the city but you’re getting married at the beach, you’ll probably never have professional pictures as a couple that represent your everyday lifestyle. So venture out in your own ‘hood with the photog in toe capturing your “normal” selves. Sometimes these can be the best pictures! 
• Get to know yourself. When was the last time you were professionally photographed anyway? Senior portraits…just as I suspected. You think you know your “good side”? It may have changed since 1997!
• Find out if your face really does get sore from all that smiling.

-The perennial bridesmaid

tasty affair

Wondering what to expect at your tasting?  Here is one couple's account from the guest blogging bride...

One of the aspects of wedding planning that excited me most about our year-and-a-half long engagement was our tasting. Most tastings I had heard about involved the bride, groom and respective parents having a meal with one or two other couples getting married at the same venue. Usually the story includes one parent complaining about something loudly. This experience sounds ok, but I think our tasting exceeded such an event. Since our wedding caterer serves multiple venues in the area, our tasting was quite epic. Basically, it was a wedding reception with no ceremony and 250+ strangers at one of the premier wedding venues in the Philadelphia area.

When we got to the venue for the tasting, there was a line out the door. We stood in the cold with other couples as everyone checked in. I immediately started stereotyping people to guess who was getting married at our venue and who was more organized than me. (Some people had their wedding binders in hand. I don't even own one thanks to my love of Google Docs) Once we made our way inside, we got nametags that indicated which venue we were hosting our wedding. This made the stereotyping even more explicit! From all my research, I have a good idea of how much these venues cost and the fancy looking couples indeed were getting married at the fancy venues. (There were a few odd exceptions that involved tattooed couples.) I smiled knowingly at couples with matching nametags to ours.

There were still parents in attendance at this type of tasting. Part of our wedding agreement included two complimentary admissions to the tasting, covering me and my fiance. Other guests had to pay a fee. The parents took their role at the tasting very seriously. They stood guard at the kitchen for the first taste of each of the passed hors d'ouevres. They strategically covered their plates with one of everything from the stations. Not being nearly as aggressive, my fiance and I tried exactly one passed hors d'ouevre (which we shared) and about three different stations' offerings. We knew we wouldn't have sushi at our wedding, so why bother waiting in line? Basically, we spent the cocktail hour having some wine and beer, checking out a binder with fabric samples for our tablecloths, and oohing and ahhing at the venue and people in general.

We then proceeded into the ballroom where we sat at a 10-top table with other couples getting married at our same venue. This was certainly the most valuable part of the event. We exchanged when we were getting married, when we got engaged, some vendor recommendations, answered each others questions and compared notes over the food. I even got everyone to write down their email addresses so I can forward them photos I've found of other weddings at our site. I'm sure if people are into it, we'll continue our dinner discussion over email.

The caterer had provided us all with a list of all the food available that evening, so we could keep track of what we were eating and make comments. The seated portion of the night involved three courses - fish, poultry and beef. Each course came with three-four different preparations of the selected meat, along with three-four different sides. (I have to be honest and say that there was a disappointing amount of carrots as sides.) It was all incredibly tasty, but overwhelming to have that much food! At least they spaced the courses out pretty well and cut the food into bite-sized portions. During the entire dinner portion, there was still an open bar too!

Then came dessert. There was a section of the ballroom near our table that had been curtained off. We deciphered that this is where the chocolate and caramel fountains would be, and sure enough, they were revealed with excitement! There was also a fresh-baked cookie station, mini milkshakes being passed around, and the cake samples. I think there were about six different cakes brought to the table in little slices. As far as the food went, the dessert was a highlight for me!

A typical question following such an extravagant event will logically be "So what did you pick for your menu?!". As comprehensive as the night was, we did not pick a single thing from the tasting to be served at our wedding. We were very attached to a specific, casual (Read: inexpensive) menu that the caterers offer, and the tasting was a chance for them to showcase their fancier items, enticing brides, grooms and well-to-do parents into selecting upgrades.

The tasting was a chance for us to be assured that our caterers handle cooking good food for large numbers of people. They proved themselves that night. Will our wedding include a sushi bar, flank steak, a signature fruit martini, or a caramel fountain? No. Will it have solid, tasty food choices made by professionals? Yes. Do I feel like I was pampered for a night? Yes! Am I excited for my wedding with corn on the cob, hamburgers and a homemade cake buffet? Even more than before!

listed

It just occurred to me today that I have numerous wedding-related lists going at any given time. Well that didn’t just occur to me. I knew about the numerous lists but my crazy organization (or lack there of) of these lists just occurred to me so I decided to make a list about my lists.

I might have lost my mind. I am not sure if I am extremely organized and therefore need multiple lists OR maybe I’m actually not organized at all and that’s why I need so many types of lists to begin with. You decide.

Here is a look into my obsessive compulsive list making tactics.

Handwritten

• Post-it – This is typically a scribbled shorthand shopping list stuck to my purse so I don’t forget to get the moisturizer that provides the right glow or the shower gift I pre-selected (from a registry LIST). The only problem with this list is that I am usually scrambling to find it. It is usually crumbled at the bottom of my bag. I do enjoy physically crossing things off the list though. It is very rewarding.
• Legal pad – More organized than the post it list for sure. I typically use the legal pad as a supply list of items that needed to be ordered for making invitations or centerpieces. I find the left column to be handy to record quantity…or simply to doodle in. The downside to this list is that it tends to get messy as I add and remove items.

Typed

• Excel – The list looks so clean when it’s all typed up and organized. I use this format for tracking shower RSVPs. As guests reply, I simply query their name and mark an X in the yes or no column. You don’t even need to be online for this list to be efficient. And then I can create a formula to determine the total Yeses and Nos.
• Word – The legal pad goes online and alleviates the messy issue for adding and removing items. Columns aren’t as functional for excel. I tend to use this listing format for jotting down ideas to post about here. Plus spell check cleans it up for me so I can think a little less about spelling and more about listing.

Web based

• Google docs – I am addicted to listing things on the Google doc that is comparable to excel. It serves the exact same function as excel BUT I can access this list from anywhere AND I can share it with other users. I am currently using a Google list for tracking bachelorette party RSVPs with my co-planner. We can both contribute to the list without sending it back and forth. What a simple yet efficient invention.
• Outlook Calendar – I find I use this one as my web base post-it list. Basically, my lunchtime errands find themselves jotted down in the noon slot on any given day. Then, surprise, I get a reminder about what shower gift I need to go buy. The reminder function here is just so clever…otherwise I’d have to write a post it to remember to check this calendar.

Techy

• PDA – I use my PDA for the calendar function on the go. I get my shopping lists sent directly to my pocket complete with a reminder. I can also access my Google docs from my PDA as well.

I hope you enjoyed my list about lists. Please tell me what kind of list maker you are. Maybe I can learn and improve on my tactics.

-The perennial bridesmaid

P.S.  As I finished typing this an Outlook calendar reminder popped up. It was labeled ‘shopping list’. I opened the list to cross reference it with my post-it list stuck to my purse.

reality check

I was fortunate to catch some reality wedding TV shows. I use the term “fortunate” lightly. I don’t normally watch these as they tend to be far from reality but I was inspired by an episode that captured absolutely ridiculous moments on these programs. Apparently people are making some rash decisions. I learned a good deal of what not to do whether you are the bride or groom and consider yourself sane.

Here goes…

• Threatening to beat up any of your in laws before, during or following your wedding is not advised. You will start your marriage off on the wrong foot.
• Doing the worm, a windmill or any other break dance move that involves getting on the floor in a wedding gown is not flattering at all. No stripper moves either.
• If someone tells you that you look beautiful; believe them, thank them & move on. You will seem insecure if you don’t believe them.
• When it’s time for the Hora, aka chair dance, during the reception, make sure there are no ceiling fans or chandeliers above you. Stay intact.
• Don’t get totally WASTED to the point of spraying champagne all over your guests…unless it actually is that kind of party.
• Guy liner is disturbing on the groom. Always.
• Clothes shouldn’t be optional. Yes, it appears people are actually having naked weddings. What?

Wedding planning can be stressful but come the actual day, do not have a break down if things aren’t going exactly as you planned. It will come together. Don’t be a cry baby!

-The perennial bridesmaid

the beans

...don’t spill ‘em!

There tend to be secrets and surprises that need to be kept around weddings and engagements…all in good fun, of course. Bridal showers have traditionally been a surprise and often still are.  Of course, proposals are also traditionally surprises. As hard as it might be, we should keep these secrets at the request of those planning the surprise.

If you are a parent and your daughter’s boyfriend has the coveted can-I-marry-your-daughter conversation with you or your spouse, don’t tell her about this conversation! How frustrating is it for the dude that is trying to surprise her? The guy does the traditional thing by asking for the girl’s hand in marriage before proposing and then you turn around and tell her? Of course it’s killing you but you’ve gotta keep this secret. Don’t blow what could be the surprise of her lifetime.

On a lighter note, I walk into work today and see my best good coworker friend. What’s the first thing she says? “Did you get an invitation to my bridal shower?” Hmm. If a got an invitation, the last thing I’d do is tell her! She goes on to tell me that she KNOWS her “surprise” shower is in March and she KNOWS that invitations went out.

What did I do? Considered running away but faced the demon instead and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about do you want to go to lunch.”

She followed up by asking if I could attend the shower. She’s going to be a tough one.

-The perennial bridesmaid

vday wedding

Happy Valentine’s Day!

So you find yourself considering a Valentine’s Day wedding. Why not? The holiday has been around since 496 A.D. and is obviously associated with love and romance. Even the most cynical people associate February 14th with love. Well I’ve put together a few pros and cons to take into consideration if you want to tie the knot on Vday.  Let me start off with the negative points...

Cons:

• As a former florist, I know how expensive flowers are on and around February 14th; particularly roses. You will definitely pay a premium for your flowers.
• Red and pink are obviously associated with the day but that may not be an appealing color scheme for your wedding. It can be a bit juvenile...especially all of those hearts.
• Hello, it is sooo cold in February. There is snow in 49 states currently! True story. I saw it on the news. You are bound to run into logistics with guests travelling in mid-Feb.

Pros:

•  February is not a common month for weddings so you may be able to negotiate a pretty good deal on a venue especially if you choose a location that does not serve Valentine’s Day dinner normally.
• If you do like red & pink and the whole heart theme, it will be super easy for you to run with DIY favors, centerpieces & other accents.
• It’s the most romantic day of the year and it will be your anniversary every year!

-The perennial bridesmaid

from the mob

Today's guest blogger is a real-life mother-of-the-bride, also known as the mob. She is sharing her experience in helpfully planning her daughter's wedding.  Read on for her approach...

As many mothers of a daughter can understand, I have dreamed with my daughter about her wedding...way before she met her fiancé! So when my daughter told me I was on all the wedding committees, I was pretty excited. (Yes, there are committees! And they are organized by the strengths of the members, not by family or friend obligation.)

The engaged couple have been planning for months. The families have visited the chosen site, the couple will have their tasting in a couple of weeks, dresses have been tried on, centerpieces discussed, honeymoon plans are in the works. Close family members have submitted ideas on some details and all are listened to respectfully. However, the vision for the wedding belongs to the couple.

I think this is where things could get sticky but haven’t for us. In a clear yet kind tone, certain ideas have not fit with the vision and are taken off the table! As the Mom, I am aware my opinions and ideas are just that - mine, not the bride’s. I already had a lovely wedding. This one is for her and her future husband. It also helps that I love their ideas!

With that said, the only way I can explain what it's like helping to plan the wedding is comparing it to the largest birthday party I ever planned for her growing up. Thinking along these lines, I suggested we have a planning meeting to organize the timeline, get dates in our plan books and google calendars, and compare notes on details. It made me really happy when some of my thoughts were new to her and helpful, and when they weren’t, well, they weren’t!

As more committee meetings are held, I will listen, offer helpful advice and counsel...and lots of love and support.

And I will dance at the wedding!

you know who you are

Someone close to me just started planning her daughter’s wedding and she asked, “What is a save the date?”. You can call me mean. I suppose I am because I literally laughed out loud at the question. Of all the silly wedding terminologies and acronyms, I think “save the date” is the most explicitly defined. That’s just me.


But for those of you that don’t know, this post is for you…

A save the date is a postcard, magnet or card that is mailed out to your guest list well in advance of your wedding; typically 6 to 18 months prior to mailing out the actual invitations. I specifically did not refer to the save the date as an invitation because the recipient does not need to RSVP. It is more like marketing collateral that lets your guests know the date of the event so they will, ahem, save it. It always includes the bride & groom’s names or recognizable photos. If there is a wedding website with additional info for the couple, this can be on there too. Often the term “Formal Invitation to Follow” is included but that can be implied if the term “Save the Date” is mentioned. Overall, minimal information other than the date to save is required.

They can be as informal and fun as you want. I’ve received lots of monograms, logos & caricatures of couples. If you have engagement photos taken, it is popular to incorporate a good shot into your save the date cards as well. Magnets are a great option because they end up on your guests’ fridge so your wedding date becomes ingrained in their brain.

Save the dates (also known as STDs – yes really!) are optional. They are practical if your guest list includes many out of towners who may need to book airfare in advance. One piece of etiquette to mention is that once you send out a save the date to someone, you can not by any means cut them from your guest list. They must receive an invitation. So if your guest list is a work in progress, STDs may not be for you.

Save the dates were not around when my parents or their parents got married. It seems to be a newer tradition that’s here to stay. Might as well embrace it and draw up a silly cartoon of you & your fiancé to send to 200 of your closest friends and family.

-The perennial bridesmaid

do not play list

You want to create the right atmosphere at your reception.  Music always sets the mood.  Of course you will select your first dance song, father/daughter dance, mother/son, cake & so on but you may want to make a list of what NOT to play.  Be sure to pass a do not play list along to your DJ or band.

This is a work in progress but a few bad/inappropriate songs come to mind that you probably do not want to hear at your reception!

• Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men – not only overplayed but referencing “dogs” is not flattering
• Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith – self explanatory
• My Humps by Black Eyed Peas - keep your humps under raps until the honeymoon
• I Write Sins Not Tragedies (what a beautiful wedding) by Panic at the Disco – this is about infidelity at a wedding, yikes
• Holler Back Girl by Gwen Stefani – if you don’t know what a “holler back girl” is, your wedding day is not the time to learn
• My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion – umm, this song is for her boyfriend who died in the titanic
• Low (Apple Bottom Jeans) by T-Pain/Flo Rida – no need to get low at the reception
• Anything Flo Rida for that matter
• The Macarena by Los del Rio Boys – sooo overplayed
• White Wedding by Billy Idol – pretty sure this a drug reference
• Every Breath You Take by the Police - stalker!

What did I miss?

-The perennial bridesmaid

guest who

It’s official. I’ve got the first 2011 wedding on the books for March 12. OMG. Let the planning begin!

Which reminds me…planning. Whenever one of my friends gets engaged she is obviously ecstatic. Sparkling, if you will. Then that sparkle fades to an overwhelming state of panic…or is it fear? Her eyes say it all! She suddenly blurts out, “I don’t even know where to begin!”

Ladies, you’ve got to make your guest list first and foremost! Consider it step one in wedding planning. I’m always surprised by how many girls don’t know this. Don’t start picking colors, venues, flowers or hair before you know who is invited to this event. Don’t forget to sit down with both sets of parents and get their input as well. Once you determine who is invited and how many guests you anticipate coming then it is on to venue shopping. The first question the sales consultant is going to ask you is how many guests you expect to have. Hands down, first question. Unless you actually write out a list you won’t know a specific number. Don’t make it a guessing game!

Planning recap: step 1 - guest list.
Venue.
Everything else.

-The perennial bridesmaid

if you don't know me by now...

…you’ll never never never know me.

One of my friends is getting married this summer (actually several are). The bride comes from a very large family that is close with one another. I’m talking Sunday dinner with the extended fam close. Her fiancée has a bit of the opposite family. His parents split when he was young and both remarried as so many do. He doesn’t see his mother on a weekly basis and he’s not very close with her husband. It is no surprise that he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his stepfather’s mother or her siblings. He has actually never met these step-great-aunts or not-so-great step-aunts, if you will. It came as a shocker when the mother of the groom insisted that these distant relatives be invited to the wedding.

The couple sent out save the dates to their guest list a few weeks ago for their summer wedding. They featured their full names, wedding date and photos of the couple. Anyone who received these would obviously recognize the couple and happily slap the magnet on their fridge wait for the “formal invitation to follow”. Not the case with 82 year old step-great-aunt Hilda. She took one look at the photo magnet and sent it back! Yes, returned to sender with a note stating, “I think you sent this to the wrong people.” Awkward!

The groom’s mother requested that the couple resend the save the date with a note detailing who they were! I suppose now is a good time to update the family tree. Hilda hasn’t sent it back again...yet.

Where do you draw the line with your guest list? Are you expected to invite your mother’s husband’s mother’s sister even if you’ve NEVER met and she doesn’t even know your name?

-The perennial bridesmaid