tish you

Last month, I went to my very first tish.

What’s a tish you ask?

So did I. The wedding invitation indicated that it was an opportunity to celebrate the bride and the groom individually before the ceremony. Bring a story. A poem. A song. Whatever. Just come to celebrate that person. This is apparently a common practice at Jewish weddings. I think it’s typical for the groom to have a tish in Jewish practice, maybe not the bride. Being that this was my first Jewish or semi-Jewish wedding, it was all Yiddish to me.

I attended the bride’s tish which began about an hour before the ceremony. Friends from near and far gathered around and told stories about the bride as a child, as an adolescent and a young adult. It was a fun hour reminiscing about how she got to that day…her wedding day. The stories were funny and sentimental.

Overall, I was tickled by my first tish.

Fast forward 4 weeks and I found myself at a rehearsal dinner for another young bride and groom who would soon be husband and wife. We went through all of the rehearsal dinner rituals…cocktails, hors d’ oeuvres , dinner and before dessert, speeches. Usually the host, or the groom’s father, says a few words about how delighted he is to welcome the daughter-in-law into the family and how she’s a great match for his son.

At this particular rehearsal dinner, the father of the groom spoke followed by a brave 10 year old who was a junior bridesmaid and the bride’s niece. She spoke about how her aunt is her favorite aunt and how happy she was for the bride.

Then it snowballed.

One person after another stood up and spoke about the couple. They told funny stories and, of course, stories about the beginning. When the couple met and how they got to the current day.

I sat back and listened.

I thought about how much I really like these impromptu speeches pre-wedding. Call it a tish. Call it a celebration. It doesn’t matter. See, the ceremony is totally scripted but these speeches are less planned and seemingly a surprise to the bride and groom. It is fun to hear so many perspectives about the bride and/or the groom in small gatherings before the actual ceremony. I even learned new facts about people that I know rather well. You never knew who will say what!

-The perennial bridesmaid

mmm, chocolate

God, I love getting chocolate as a favor. It never gets old. Don’t let anyone tell you chocolate isn’t a good favor.  The last rehearsal dinner I went to included a personalized favor. It’s nice to get a favor at the pre-wedding dinner although not a requirement.

The favor was mini Hershey bars so I was in heaven but they DIY’d a spin on the bars that made it oh-so personal. The groom’s family printed out the wedding logo on standard business labels and then wrapped each chocolate bar individually. This is an idea I never thought of before but hello! So simple. And much more cost effective than getting those customized M&M’s or customized Hershey Bar labels online. You will pay a premium for those.

The crafty ladies didn’t stop at the chocolate bar labels. They took it further to really personalize this favor. The dinner was held at a brewery and homebrew beer was one of the wedding themes so bottle cap magnets were made with the wedding logo and silly pics of the couple. Bottle caps! Clever. Again.

Here’s a pic of how they neatly packaged it all up in cellophane envelopes.

Remember, a professional wedding logo is not a requirement. You can create a monogram or use your initials and get the same effect. These favors could also be given to guests at a shower or even the wedding.

-The perennial bridesmaid

only in philly

My friend recently started documenting occurrences that seem to be normal “only in Philly” but wouldn’t be acceptable outside of our domain. Typically these are brief statements that relate to our local culture – Phillies, SEPTA, TastyKakes, weathermen, mascots, you get the idea.

Why am I telling you this? Because “only in Philly” and “10,000 weddings” have collided. A direct effect of a dozen donuts. And truly unbelievable. This is no urban myth…

Last weekend’s wedding festivities started out as so many do.
Rehearsal.
Church.
Direction-giving Reverend.
The bride and groom walked into the church with smiles from ear to ear and their parents and bridal party in tow. Almost immediately, the middle aged man asked for the marriage license so that the nuptials, that would take place in 24 hours, would be legal. He stated that he could not perform the ceremony without a license to marry. It was at this point that their smiles turned to frowns and fear set in.

The couple didn’t have a license. They hadn’t applied for one yet.

Sure, this isn’t a glamorous part of the wedding planning process. No one says, “What does your marriage license look like!?” or “Have you decided what color marriage license you’re going with?” There are no frills but this is possibly one of the most crucial parts of your wedding planning if you want it all to actually be legal.

Each state, and some counties, have their own set of rules on when to apply for the license, what forms of identification are needed, what tests may need to be taken, when the license becomes valid and for how long. Some states even have a waiting period before the license is valid.

PA has a 3 day waiting period. This bit of information seemed detrimental to the wedding that was scheduled to happen in just 24 hours. What were the bride and groom to do?

This is where “only in Philly” comes in.

The couple marched down to city hall at 8 am on their wedding day. Chipper, bright eyed and with a box of fresh donuts in hand. Any other city’s workers might have laughed at the bride’s bribe but not here. The employees were thrilled by the kind doughy gesture. So thrilled that they dropped everything to process the application and even got a judge to agree to waive the 3 day waiting period. All in less than one hour.

Only in Philly can a dozen donuts get you an instant marriage license less 12 hours before your wedding!

-The perennial bridesmaid


P.S. I don’t recommend trying that one. Look up your state’s requirements regarding the marriage license application process!