Friday, January 15, 2010

if you don't know me by now...

…you’ll never never never know me.

One of my friends is getting married this summer (actually several are). The bride comes from a very large family that is close with one another. I’m talking Sunday dinner with the extended fam close. Her fiancée has a bit of the opposite family. His parents split when he was young and both remarried as so many do. He doesn’t see his mother on a weekly basis and he’s not very close with her husband. It is no surprise that he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his stepfather’s mother or her siblings. He has actually never met these step-great-aunts or not-so-great step-aunts, if you will. It came as a shocker when the mother of the groom insisted that these distant relatives be invited to the wedding.

The couple sent out save the dates to their guest list a few weeks ago for their summer wedding. They featured their full names, wedding date and photos of the couple. Anyone who received these would obviously recognize the couple and happily slap the magnet on their fridge wait for the “formal invitation to follow”. Not the case with 82 year old step-great-aunt Hilda. She took one look at the photo magnet and sent it back! Yes, returned to sender with a note stating, “I think you sent this to the wrong people.” Awkward!

The groom’s mother requested that the couple resend the save the date with a note detailing who they were! I suppose now is a good time to update the family tree. Hilda hasn’t sent it back again...yet.

Where do you draw the line with your guest list? Are you expected to invite your mother’s husband’s mother’s sister even if you’ve NEVER met and she doesn’t even know your name?

-The perennial bridesmaid

1 comment:

  1. I think a very easy place to draw the line on the guest list is if the bride and/or groom has never met the person. If a family member or friend is so important to the parents that they must be invited, they should have met the bride and groom by now! (Of course there are exceptions, but if cuts need to be made, people who will send back a photo magnet have to be the first to go!)