Monday, January 25, 2010

you know who you are

Someone close to me just started planning her daughter’s wedding and she asked, “What is a save the date?”. You can call me mean. I suppose I am because I literally laughed out loud at the question. Of all the silly wedding terminologies and acronyms, I think “save the date” is the most explicitly defined. That’s just me.

But for those of you that don’t know, this post is for you…

A save the date is a postcard, magnet or card that is mailed out to your guest list well in advance of your wedding; typically 6 to 18 months prior to mailing out the actual invitations. I specifically did not refer to the save the date as an invitation because the recipient does not need to RSVP. It is more like marketing collateral that lets your guests know the date of the event so they will, ahem, save it. It always includes the bride & groom’s names or recognizable photos. If there is a wedding website with additional info for the couple, this can be on there too. Often the term “Formal Invitation to Follow” is included but that can be implied if the term “Save the Date” is mentioned. Overall, minimal information other than the date to save is required.

They can be as informal and fun as you want. I’ve received lots of monograms, logos & caricatures of couples. If you have engagement photos taken, it is popular to incorporate a good shot into your save the date cards as well. Magnets are a great option because they end up on your guests’ fridge so your wedding date becomes ingrained in their brain.

Save the dates (also known as STDs – yes really!) are optional. They are practical if your guest list includes many out of towners who may need to book airfare in advance. One piece of etiquette to mention is that once you send out a save the date to someone, you can not by any means cut them from your guest list. They must receive an invitation. So if your guest list is a work in progress, STDs may not be for you.

Save the dates were not around when my parents or their parents got married. It seems to be a newer tradition that’s here to stay. Might as well embrace it and draw up a silly cartoon of you & your fiancé to send to 200 of your closest friends and family.

-The perennial bridesmaid


  1. OMG somebody really doesn't know what a "Save the Date" is?? Have they been living under a rock?

  2. save-the-date equals waste-of-money! I wouldnt pass judgement though on the people i've received them from. They are cute.

  3. Save the dates are totally silly, so silly that I can see someone wondering what on earth is it...Could there really be something so ridiculous??? Save your money, not your date!