Tuesday, February 9, 2010

from the mob

Today's guest blogger is a real-life mother-of-the-bride, also known as the mob. She is sharing her experience in helpfully planning her daughter's wedding.  Read on for her approach...

As many mothers of a daughter can understand, I have dreamed with my daughter about her wedding...way before she met her fiancé! So when my daughter told me I was on all the wedding committees, I was pretty excited. (Yes, there are committees! And they are organized by the strengths of the members, not by family or friend obligation.)

The engaged couple have been planning for months. The families have visited the chosen site, the couple will have their tasting in a couple of weeks, dresses have been tried on, centerpieces discussed, honeymoon plans are in the works. Close family members have submitted ideas on some details and all are listened to respectfully. However, the vision for the wedding belongs to the couple.

I think this is where things could get sticky but haven’t for us. In a clear yet kind tone, certain ideas have not fit with the vision and are taken off the table! As the Mom, I am aware my opinions and ideas are just that - mine, not the bride’s. I already had a lovely wedding. This one is for her and her future husband. It also helps that I love their ideas!

With that said, the only way I can explain what it's like helping to plan the wedding is comparing it to the largest birthday party I ever planned for her growing up. Thinking along these lines, I suggested we have a planning meeting to organize the timeline, get dates in our plan books and google calendars, and compare notes on details. It made me really happy when some of my thoughts were new to her and helpful, and when they weren’t, well, they weren’t!

As more committee meetings are held, I will listen, offer helpful advice and counsel...and lots of love and support.

And I will dance at the wedding!

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